BBC Radio 4 Seriously .., Seriously How Colourism Complicates The Dating Game

People need to realize all of us have our hardships and find ways to overcome them. To all of my dark skinned friends I say honor yourself and love yourself. If someone judges you for the tone/ color of your skin are they someone who you would want to call a friend or in your life? I wouldn’t this person knows no thing about your character which to me is more important.

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Recognize that you have been influenced by a racist society that champions white beauty standards and supremacy, and maybe that you’re a part of it, too. Asian women are fetishized as submissive and docile, black men as virile, Hispanic women as overly sensual and fiery. There’s even a term for wanting to date only Asian women — yellow fever. A strong correlation was found between respondents who had race-related dating preferences and other more obvious forms of racial bigotry. Calling someone out for any form of racism is a remarkably quick way to see tempers flare. When white people in particular hear accusations of racism, hackles rise instantly.

More often than not, everyone stands in the slowest moving queue in the supermarket. Colorism in dating and marriage choices upholds white supremacy and racism. If you can’t express your so called “preference” without fetishizing complexion, then it’s not a “preference,” but a sickness. It’s one thing to find someone’s complexion, hair, and features attractive.

And the study showed these men often separated women by skin tone first and foremost,” Black And Married With Children reported. Yes everyone has stories about their past relationships, but as a dark-skinned girl, I feel as though I have a perspective that is all my own but can also resonate with many of my darker skinned sisters. Just like I did with the bullies, I had to really teach myself not to let the men I allowed into my life break me.

Colorism in Relationships: Preference or Prejudice?

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” My mom was very, very quick to not turn it into a big theme. She always made a conscious decision to come and tell you personally to not mind that person. E talked to six dark-skinned black women about the issues they’ve encountered in the entertainment industry and how they’ve moved past them. Read the experiences of Ashley Blaine Featherson, Charnele Brown, Danielle Brooks, Diamond White, Dimma Umeh, and Hanna Lashay. But now, black shows are becoming mainstream and therefore being poked and prodded by white producers and audiences more than ever. So they wind up picking girls who are more palatable to them – lighter skin, straighter hair, more European noses, etc.

And because of colorism’s deep roots in the histories of Latin America and the United States, discrimination based on skin color can occur among Hispanics just as much as it can be directed at Hispanics by non-Hispanics. These dark-skinned black women would qualify as beautiful by any standards – regardless of skin color. Though they might criticize lighter-skinned black people, many people of color – deep down – abhor dark skin.

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Latinos with lighter skin color or Latinos with lighter skin selected 1-4 on the scale while Latinos with darker skin color or Latinos with darker skin selected 5-10. No matter what adversity they may have faced getting there, they eventually find solace in knowing that they’re on a road to success. They always lean towards the racially ambiguous look. They do the same for other races/ethnicities, as well (ex. Naomi as Princess Jasmine. I love her but c’mon now…). It’s super rare now to see dark skin women as main characters unless the actresses make their own show and cast specific people (ex. Issa Rae created Insecure and thus was able to cast who she wanted).

Whenever I was approached by a Black man in my single days, I would always find myself getting a little apprehensive on first meeting. I was bracing myself for the moment that they would mention my complexion. Normally, it wouldn’t take more than five minutes, but some guys could last as long as 12 before making a comment. It happened so often that I just began using it as a way to eliminate dudes from my list of prospects. The moment that I would hear anything along the lines of “your skin is so light,” I would mentally check out and put them in the reject pile.

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And while our lighter skin shades can be attributed to the Massuh’s preference for his female black slaves over his own wife, we can’t blame the Massuh for us continuing to feed into the hype that light is good and dark is bad. There continues to be black children who prefer to play with dolls that are white with blond hair and blue eyes. Some black children actually identify with these dolls over dolls of their own race, which could explain the 2003 case between two Georgia Applebee’s restaurant employees.